Tear Cookies

There is a beautiful book I have received from some of you this past week – Tear Soup. In that beautifully articulated tale, Grandy, after loosing Papa, is struggling with the deep pain she carries, which leads her on a mission to cook the best batch of Tear Soup.  In that soup, she pours all her favorite ingredients; a perfect blend of memories, images, longing, yearning….salt, lots of salt…her tears. In each batch, a deep love, the processing of her loss, the love she had to what was, to who Papa was…to who they were together.

I started reading that beautiful book with my daughter, but she had to finish reading it for me; my own batch was overflowing…..

This past Friday, the second without my mom, I decided to make my own version of the book and made my “Tear Cookies”. Any cookies my kids loved when they arrived at my mom’s house, their “Savtah”, now I made.

With her “instructing” me, through the speaker (during my last visit, I interviewed her on each of these cookies recipes), she instructs me, I do and cry…..WE BAKE. I managed to craft about 250 tear drops…cookies…..this was hard! This was painful! This was healing!!!!

But wait, there is more. My mom loved my best friend, the love of my life, my man, my hubby, as her son. For each spicy recipe, he had his own batch – mild. Now, for each of her cookies, I made his, gluten free – about a 100 tears later…..

There are so many marks in our hearts and deep in our soul, which were born and left in us forever, by the people we love and lost. I am going to keep making this soup, this tear cookie soup, till the salt gently subsides and my cookies…sweeter…..

Another new sign of birth and renewal is REVI-LATIONS, a corner/blog on my website, to go back and find my newsletters, to read and reread them, to comment, to share….to heal, to get inspired, to move through life together. Thank you again to Lorie Yager for being such a partner in pushing me in that direction – my thoughts have their own little corner in the virtual world and I hope to assist others in any way.

Gratitude is a big component in my existence and again, I want to thank all of you who have truly HELD me these past two weeks when my world really, truly changed. I am blessed and love my community and as we say in Hebrew, may G-D help me repay you ‘RAK BESMACHOT” – only in joyous moments .